Idk if this white stuff in my shower is conditioner or... something else?
so i'm sitting in his room drinking tequila from the bottle and watching harry potter. he's jacking off to some porn a couple feet away from me. at one point i look over and see that he's watching me instead of the porn. please help me figure out how warped it is that i found that romantic
Ramen noodles and uncensored jerry springer episodes, what a nice life i have.
Buying $100 worth of beef jerkey sounded like a terrific idea last night.
i just looked at the calendar to see when spring break is and literally stopped eating
It's like the blind leading the senile over here.
UPDATE: shit just got real- grandma is threatening to beat grandpa with a wooden spoon covered in chili.
What is soo wrong about a house of half-naked people hugging each other and laughing?
The pinata full of drugs?
Your "dubstep at ceilis" resulted in a random naked guy busting into my room and peeing all over my bathroom
Is he the circus guy or the bi-curious street preacher?
When Ben was deep throating pickles last night I actually reconsidered our relationship
CUM CAME OUT OF MY NOSE. MY SINUSES ARE ENTIRELY FUCKED UP NOW BC OF THE CUM TRAVELING IN PLACES IT SHOULD NOT HAVE.
A person can only vomit Fireball so much before they quit it forever
Explain to me how we're not being documented on? A gynecologist I saw two times 8 years ago popped up on my people you may know list on fb. What in the actual fuck?
I just wiped my butthole and there was glitter down there.
You have ten minutes starting with this message to get here. Or I'm putting my clothes back on.
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