ugly people sure do ruin things
He's like the fucking Houdini of bras. Not only did I not feel him take it off I didn't find it until two days later.
im just going to superglue mistletoe to my forehead and see what happens
I just deleted all the drug dealers from my phone, I guess this is growing up
Woke up un the hot tuv. Climbed out fo the hot tub and fell asleeo. Woke ip again in the hot tub.
No I'm not coming over. That Bob Ross drinking game is too intense.
When the tupperware hit the highway it was like a vomit bomb
He did not want a thank you for helping me move in bj. I don't know how to thank him now.
of course! give me a few hours to recover from chugging a 4loko out of a frisbee, and it will be rage time yet again
I have no idea. But that is beside the point bc in vegas I'm a pro vball player from Ireland and a veterinarian on the weekends
Just remembered I said your cat looked delicious last night.
You'll be like the drunk Paul Bunyan someday with a giant grey cat
Yes. Ice cream tacos are an important aspect in the bridge of friendship
Did I see you at the bar last night?
Yes. You just kept grabbing my boobs and saying how much better they are than yours...
Family acid trip. They're welcoming me into the family.
What. The. Fuck.
Family acid trip.
Randomize
