just walked by a lingerie store, the sign out front, "Specials for Father's Day", in no way is that just not wrong.
Billy Mays is dead too!
Somewhat annoying American icons better be watching their backs
You only like me because I'm a challenge
You already blew me
i woke up to find out i shared my bed with a full, open can of natty light last night and didnt spill it. then i drank it for breakfast.
i was focused on more important things... like standing, and not spilling my beer
I'm way too horny to be at work right now. I think it might be legally irresponsible to leave me alone with cucumbers.
Well, I'm off to go seduce a gay man. In 10 years when I'm 300 pounds, sitting in a mumu surrounded by my 500 cats, remind me of this text. That way I can be like "ohhh THERE'S where I went wrong!!"
We found her. She's owling on the sink in the bathroom.
Just successfully made home fries from potatoes we used as bowls while stoned as shit. I deserve a trophy.
Hey Kellie. Me putting. My face intebetaeen ut your boobs made my night
I would really just like to get laid somewhere that's not on a bathroom floor at this point in my life
How do we stop her downward spiral?
Wine. For us.
Welcome to the single world where it seems vibrator batteries are in short supply and making a sandwich while naked at 2am is relatively normal
is it fun? or sober?
When do you think the murder is going to happen in this Lifetime movie of ours?
Randomize
