Why did u sent me a picture of a dead horse?
i could hear you having sex and was jealous, wanted to kill the mood
Some are given great drunkenness. Others have great drunkenness thrust upon them, in the form of ice storms.
You know you stopped at a liquor store to prepare for a 12-year-old's birthday party, right?
Everyone is sleeping and i'm sittin here in my iron man mask, watchin chelsea lately and tryin to figure out how to smoke through it.
why does he always try to puke into shot glasses
You may genuinely find a use for the siphon. But the bag of human hair is less likely.
I got back at him the only way I knew how, by hooking up with the guy he hates from their rival fraternity.
some people spend their whole lives trying to find their soulmate. who knew mine was hiding in utah successfully balancing a pageant career and a coke habit.
Way too stoned bro. Was laying down on my back and thought for a good 30 mins what it would be like to be a turtle stuck on its shell
He was bigger soft than my ex was hard. A gold medal rebound.
What's the standard Christmas present for six months of booty calls?
Mobile recharge?
I just came inside of a Gatorade bottle. That hungover.
what do u think we would be doing right now if we were together
Urinating on unicorns
Thanks. I just smoked a bowl topless so I'm in heaven right now.
Just got high with dad
Correction: more high. He's sharing gummy bears with me.
Randomize
