You can tell alot about a person by their poo.. For example, he was a smoker.
failed my one goal of the day: wake up before 2 pm.
No.. It's totally over.. He deleted the poke I sent him.. That makes it official.
I hope this doesn't become one of those friendships where we dont have sex
i wrote down the address for planned parenthood on the back of the receipt for the condom that broke
I just met the neighbor hes a self proclaimed coke dealer/ softporn producer.
they still hired me even though my background check came back with a warrent for my arrest.
Cracked my iPhone screen. Real bad. Girl from last night isn't ugly yet. Stop me if you still think she belongs under a bridge. You have 12 seconds.
At some point during thanksgiving the image of me pooping on ur moms chest will come to you. Your welcome!
after he went down on me he said he wanted an air freshener for his car scented like my vag. i cant even.
I'm taking a shit break of discontent as a personal protest
Wait, but now I'm curious. In what position were y'all when the cops came? Were you guys butt ass naked in the car? 😂😂
Come over. We have half a bottle of jumbo champagne left and no boyfriends to slow us down
not only did u rap a voicemail to me last night.... but it lasted so long that it cut you off so you called back to finish..... never do this again
U NO SLUT. YOUR HEART IS JUST FREE.
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