I totally have a Rabbi on speed dial now. Keep it Kosher.
I'm always impressed by your drunken ability to quickly gauge how long it's been since you've shaved and whether or not your prospective hook up will care.
threw up in my backpack again. Asian guy I cheat from wasn't pleased.
Thanks to her sunglasses tan, I can't look at her when she blows me cause it's like getting blown by a raccoon. A very talented raccoon
It's not slutty if it's for workout purposes...right?
My living room is scattered with glow sticks wrappers, sparklers, face paint & beer cans?
It's not as cool looking when the drugs wear off, is it?
I think we've had way too many heart to hearts in the Mc Donalds parking lot for this to be a healthy relationship
Promise me you won't have sex in my room
I can't promise you that, but I promise you that I'll try
Might want to in your tub tho. That thing is fucking huge.
The best part about being single is knowing how much everyone secretly creeps behind their gf/bfs back. You wouldn't believe..Have a great date night!
I'm attracted to him because he looks like the kind of guy who would lick my asshole without me having to ask.
What if he turns back to me, finds me seemingly fondling my breasts, and thinks I'm turned on by eagles?
They've taken all the lighthearted fun out of S&M.
Alas my dad DD'd me. Legit cock blocked to the highest degree
And he kept lifting up his shirt every few minutes to check if his nipples were still there
All I know is I woke up in the back seat of my car, with the engine on, and my gps navigated to florida.
Randomize