Stop it. You sound like you're giving birth.
she keeps a pillow, blanket, and a pack of saltines under the bathroom sink, for "rough nights".
Party priorities: alcohol > girls > music > cups > decorations
i crunched every chip from the dorito bag and poured it in the vase. never again will i have to deal with cool ranch fingers.
We should probably avoid doing this again, but hey it was a nice one time thing to tell the grandkids about... Hopefully they don't end up being YOUR grandkids.
there was so much ham clogging the tub drain.. he said it was ok he has a cleaning lady
I'm deep cleaning my room right now. Not sure if it actually needs it or if I'm just trying to symbolically cleanse myself of the last 24 hours.
you started looking at my couch laughing and saying to it "she thinks I'm talking to you" then proceeded to laugh and talk to the couch some more.
As for the 14 hours of vodka. I am all that is man.
I drunkenly transformed into shehulk last night and lifted every single guy off the ground bc one guy told me that there was no way I was strong enough. Don't worry, I proved them wrong. Stupid stereotypical men.
I have to stop letting him stay all weekend. I feel like a cored apple.
Just got invited to a tree party by some random chicks. They're literally just sitting up in a tree with a handle of rum and a box of goldfish crackers and yelled at me as I was walking by...
All I wanted was a good weekend full of booze, laughs, and maybe some penis. Instead, someone is in the hospital, I didn't sleep at all last night. And not because I got laid.
None of what you just said was coherent
I just bought wine at a gas station what the hell do you expect
So, I think my BF has slept with several of our sorority sisters
Well, now that you know, yes he has. We didn’t say anything because you seemed so happy. He’s a great guy and none of us have any hard feelings, but yeah, we’re all very familiar with his penis and it’s talents
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