This girl added me on fb and has all these pics of her kissing her little brother saying i will love you forever. I'm creeped out.
maybe it's her son
thats not any better.
a woman just threw her tv out the window while screaming "will you fucking work now?". i'm never moving
I really hope your girlfriend didnt have your phone while i texted how much i loved doing it in HER car with you :x
I learned his name tonight. This now makes him a real person. Obviously, I no longer want to sleep with him.
I bought a police grade breathalyzer on ebay at 4:37 am. At least I'm a responsible drunk.
not a day goes by that I don't wish you were here or I there. Today it was because I had the desire to get high and go look at the jellyfish at the aquarium and you're the perfect buddy for that.
When you get home...find me in the shower. Only safe place at the moment.
I should get him a card "thanks for letting me use you for your penis on and off as I see fit and for being a nice guy. My boobs and I appreciate your loyalty and dedication"
Can you bring me some underwear? I feel uncomfortable going underwear less at a Remembrance Day ceremony.
My loniness meter has reached its peak. I just played shadow puppets using my Big Mac on the wall with my cats
Fuck these bullshit days. My underwear are still inside out.
Of fucking course I get my period on Valentine's Day...
OMG OMG OMG I just throwed up in his pillow case when he wentto start the sho wer, time to grab my bra and bounce!!!
Wow.
I have vodka, fruit gushers, and health insurance. Let's party.
ARE YOU DEAD? TEXT Y FOR YES OR N FOR NO.
Randomize
