You should just wear a sign that says "I like cheap Chinese food and anal"
I like taco bell too
and she said "My body is an orphanage, I take everybody in"...
Problem: At home sick with a stomach virus. Solution: smoke weed all day...
There's a pair of socks on the bar. No-one's questioned this.
I cant. There's fences everywhere and I think I have a boyfriend. Its fabulous.
I'm not saying I'm drunk, but I'm definitely saying my liver has its work cut out for it.
We can't tell anyone we fucked because I'm still trying to get with your friend. Is she coming next weekend?
I still can't believe that I ate McDonald's off of my chest in his bed...
Cross faded me is not the classiest.
No not at all haha I wish there was a picture of that
guy next to me on the train just pulled out two bottles of gin and a block of cheddar. is slowly making his way through all of them.
Trying to figure out if the guy I'm with right now is the same guy I met spring break
Oh duude it is the guy from spring break! Awk.
Last night you said you were going to stop drinking and then proceeded to dip cookies in your vodka.
Sadly that explains a lot.
You must be buzzed on Miller Lite.. Zen master advice is flowing
Pretty sure by 1p, she had fucked all of my bodily fluids out of me. I'm now trying to replace them with bourbon so 2016 is turning out pretty good.
Dude is PACKING. And yes I am holding up a cross and holy water and hissing like a pissed off goose.
I am the oldest one here and I STILL feel like I need an adult. help.
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