But honestly u used to be a cool guy and lately uve been superame(734): Superlame
just saw an old couple make out...not too sure how I feel about it. though I will admit at one point I was thinking "oh yeah! get that!"
Have you ever had champagne poured on you during sex? It was like a rap video
the liquor store lady asked about three times if I was sure about buying two fifths of everclear. i told her I wanted to be on cops
Found a left over fake Olympic medal from our party last weekend. Awarded it to a random girl in the bar last night. Its the only thing she was wearing this morning when she woke up at my place.
For once I'm glad there wasn't morning sex. Yes, that sore from the night before.
Only your vagina holds the key to what happened last night.
this morning i checked my reflection in the toilet as i was throwing up to make sure i still had my pearl earrings on
Dude... there's chunks of hair all over the floor, and no one knows how they got there. You guys just made out right?
Just walk straight and zig zag through cars tell you get to the road. That's where I am. Perpendicular to the doors do not make any turns
I created another version of Halloween, it's called swalloween, whatever girl in a slutty costume you bring home has to swallow or forever be known as the holiday grinch
Your first words after putting out the flames, "how am I supposed to eat girls out with my top lip burned off??"
Yeah no more flaming everclear shots.
He just sent me a picture of himself naked while cooking pancakes and he made the caption "bitchin' in the kitchen"
Just discovered evidence of drunken eBay bid. Drunk Mike did pretty good -- I'm getting a new sleeping bag.
Such a shame we didn't work out. We would've been a power couple producing NFL linemen :/
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