You're so nebulous sometimes
i jus pukd everywherw but i took a showr, come cuddle
This is why I shouldn't be left alone with liquor and anticipation.
so i woke up in some guy's bed but then i realized i can atone for this tomorrow
just because she threw up on my junk doesnt mean i dont like asians anymore
I am a human short and spout . Here is my jager Herr is my redbull . When i get real drink i shout out. Tip me over and pour yeager out
Sober Sundays just aren't working out anymore.
Hey.. there are 2 people i've never met before spooning in the bathtub. Please elaborate on what went down last night.
Well I don't think you can suck his dick while he's making pizza. I think that goes against some health codes.
It's like God tapped him on the shoulder and said "You are now capable of giving world shattering, tear jerking head."
What type of condoms do you get ? Oh and do you want a slurpee while I'm here
but I truly enjoy making out with my best friend more than my boyfriend
We poured all the Fireball on the Slip and Slide and long story short I have two black eyes.
Sext me about skeletons
She just kept screaming and saying "fucking you is like fucking a mountain"
Randomize
