So remember when i bet you that girl uses dick to validate her existence?
...yea
She's valid.
how do i say "thank you for the blowjob, but never talk to me again" without crushing her?
He asked if I wanted to "hang out"
A verb which here means "do lines off my dick"
We decided to leave the bar after we shattered a glassand then drive to steal a baby pool for our water festivities tomorrow
We're all in the kiddie pool on the porch. Fully clothed. Watching porn. With my manager.
Just found a bag of weed nailed to the door that my dealer dropped off since I wasn't home. God I love Boulder.
Jameson and I invented street rugby last night. Yeah
Here's the thing, you got road head in two different cars tonight. You feel lucky yet?
I got so stoned last night I thought I was in second grade again
I ran into his family and they made me a ham sandwich and I asked if they wanted to come streaking. I felt they deserved the invite.
Is there a word in the English dictionary for impressed, yet disgusted?
I think the word you're looking for is flabbergasted.
I'm not sure. But he has a pet sugar glider. So, points either way
As long as that's not his name for his dick.
I woke up in your kitchen with my ID in my hand and my nails were painted electric blue. Dude.... never let me have fireball again.
Sleeping with him wouldn't be considered hoeing out... It seems more like babysitting.
Sexting and pancakes... It's going to be hard to top that
Randomize
