if you do not get any action from him tonight, I am personally walking my drunk ass over there grabbing his tongue and sticking it in your mouth. this is getting ridiculous
I just ran into the couch, vagina first.
I hope you got dinner out of it
She showed me her prom dress from 2001, which still had her date's cum stain on it.
Oh, so that's why you call her jizzarella....
she said and I quote "NO SOUP FOR YOU!!!" and closed her legs.
It seems to me that once you begin comparing Jesus to hercules and calling him a super pimp you should put the wine away...
She rolled over this morning and asked "did you refer to my vagina as splash mountain last night? "
Then he told me he was proud of me for remembering that i blew him that night.. Maybe my drinking is getting out of hand.
I have a question: does pizza dipped in chili sound good or am I just really high?
My dads not up on pop culture but he's not dumb enough to believe your 2 girls 1 cup reference at dinner was from the bible.
Lets get real here, ive seen your moms breasts multiple times
Whatever the emoticon is for "balls deep". That.
Nothing like a little chlamydia diagnosis to ring in the new year
We're about to get drunk and it feels wrong without you
Put viagra in his coffee. I did that with Geoff last month and three hours later I had bitten through a throw pillow and gotten a noise complaint from a neighbor
Hey? Just a hypothetical. You ever accidentally kill somebody's cat on purpose? Like you didn't mean to but it had it coming? If you're wondering it tripped me while I was walking down the stairs and I landed on it as I fell.
Randomize
