clay aiken is like melissa ehteridge without the guitar.
Life lesson: if you fart while talking to a girl outside, the smell does not dissipate, it just lingers around mocking you
I bet a guy could be masturbating under the table now and people would just think he was clapping along.
well yea, now i know i won't get hair in my teeth...
he acted like he had never seen anyone snort lines of adderall off of a microwave before. freshman.
I gurantee you I'll be the only one dressed as a giraffe.
I will be naked everywhere
My liver and I thought we knew what we signed up for. We were wrong.
He showed up at my house, drunk, proclaiming that he needed to fuck me...my dad let him in
I can't wait for you to tell me about your sex.
It's a short, short story.
Just made a bong out of a pineapple. So yes.. And champagne is about to be popped
I am at 99 matches in less than 24 hours, I need a tinder rehab program
Why would you call when you knew I'd be having sex!?
Why would you answer?
It's almost 5am and all I can keep thinking is IT'S WHISKEY TIME!!
he said he's going to burn things and pack his stuff. he may leave tomorrow supposedly but i doubt it
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