my quiz for the book was only 2 questions and my one answer was sorry and then a sad face
I guess you don't realize how much twelve bags of chips are, until they're all over your floor.
The arresting officer told me "you probably get this a lot, but you look like anthony kiedis".
I'll always be here to give you immoral support.
I may have just serenaded the sadface couple sitting on a bench outside the dorm by singing Bye Bye Bye.
Our penis' have led to more networking than mark zuckerberg.
You were mean to me and you broke my heart and hurt my feelings. You dont get to talk to me about Peter Dinklage
We had an in depth conversion about the best way to take a dick pic. Both with and without mirrors.
I'm trying to be all porn star and he's making it all The Notebook
Idk how much vodka is on these pants but I'm gonna wear them anyway: the biopic
Damn it. If you ever throw me again, take video.
I'm going to need to invest in some knee pads if I keep having nights like tonight
you smell like vanilla and daddy issues
Good morning! Spongebob is on channel 257 when you wake up. Help yourself to breakfast. You were great last night. See you when I get back.
how did i manage to wake up with my bra on backwards?
Randomize
