you want to go make fun of the strippers on try out night
i got kicked out last time for laughing
lets start a swedish sibling band together
I just got a Community College debit card in the mail. My failure has been materialized.
Do you know how awkward it is to call the bar from last night and ask if they found my leggings?
I fatbooth all their pics then decide which one is the cutest even if they gained like 400 lbs and then proceed to fuck him.
just woke up to find an unpeeled banana, with a condom on, halfway into my vagina. this better not be you trying to be funny
he asked if i wanted their team name to be " Amandas angels" or " Fuk budies" either way an intermural softball team of all my hook ups from spring semester is just depressing. convenient but depressing
We got three kegs and a backhoe. Now taking bets on what charges we end up getting arrested for. Will need bail money.
I think I was using my hair to catch my vomit last night.
You were.
OK am i seriously the only one who thinks Cocaine Tuesdays is a bad idea?
Drunk me forgot I'm not an 18yr old raver anymore. Adult me is now in pain.
Dude, I passed out on the side walk, lost my phone and shirt, and walked 12 miles home after I disappeared from the club
You pee in parking lots....i drive home naked.....thats the american dream i was promised
My conscious state is steadily increasing towards drunkenness.
It's next to that place that has cock fighting.
Randomize
