i just had sex. the condom broke. we're sleeping in to separate beds. And im in albany
I just saw a girl play flip cup with only her tongue
I'm in love
So I ate yogurt with the back of my toothbrush. I feel like I've officially been initiated into college.
i woke up, turned over, and noticed an assortment of knives stuck in my wall. i should prob stop drinking
Yeah, you spent an hour in front of the mirror trying to reenact the Sailor Moon theme song.
he peed everywhere. it's like having a puppy.
There is nothing wrong with wanting a slide attached to your staircase
He bought me a oreo ice cream cake with "thanks for not calling the cops!" written in icing. If that doesn't sum up winter break, I don't know what does.
Is it too much to ask that I wake up one morning with out a pic of your dick as my wallpaper??
I'm laying in bed listening to Purple Rain on repeat. If you wanna bone, come up, but if not, at least Prince understands me.
All the party invite said was a date and "21 to drink, 18ish to sleep over"
Good thing my vagina doesn't have a chronometer on it. I'm sure my fiance would be horrified. Probably 10 miles from this past weekend alone.
Me my naked body. You bring the paints. I expect to be a panther by game time Sunday.
What do I get.
Panthers win you get to fuck the paint off me.
Saw a thong on the yellow lines of the street when I left this morning, are they yours by any chance?
My mom is worried I'm not eating enough protein so she's sending me 48 cans of tuna. That's not a typo.
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