u were so high that u chewed on candle wax for an hour
my fraternity brothers just had an intervention for me. i either have a problem or am just on some next-level shit, im gonna go with door number 2
Oh btw I took the eighth out of the plastic wrap so I could use it to wrap my red pepper. This can be seen as either pathetic or resourceful.
Definately laid on the floor of the shower this morning drinking the water as it fell on me.
The first aid guy just told us to go get hammered...I'm taking his advice
I swear she looks like a sloth.... I'll toss a coin...
I fell asleep on the floor again. i dont want help, just a pillow. its kind of nice down here.
I got my first tattoo & injured myself while having sex in a national monument. I say we consider this weekend siezed.
Seeing your boyfriend, side piece, and great white buffalo, all in one night? Its a sign right?
Proceed with caution.
The first thing I did when I got to the apartment was masturbate on the couch
Like if Ohio doesn't think I can get smashed on wine I will gladly prove them wrong
He fell asleep during FOREPLAY. Sober!!!
Im outta here as soon as my phone charges wtf
Come over. We have half a bottle of jumbo champagne left and no boyfriends to slow us down
You know that voice that tells you to do something spontaneous after 1am? Don't listen to it.
We had an argument over whether or not she had super strength. She settled it by dragging me to the bed room and throwing me on the bed. Then forcefully fucking me. She won the argument.
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