the next morning i told him i was impressed that he remembered my name. he said it wasn't that hard when "tracy
i'm gonna start putting 34DD under other qualifications on my bartender applications and see if that helps
his facial hair looked like he just ate out someone's ass
Is it mean that I just sent him a pic of my tits with the header, "say bye bye?"
Almost just got kicked out of a bar because the locals spilled beer everywhere when we taught them to shotgun.
let's just pour the lemonade mix into the soco. cut out the middle man.
Damn you and your Monday night power hours.
So essentially hes paying me $150k/year for the rest of his career to not have sex
SERIOUSLY? WTF! why cant I find a super hot, super gay, super conservative christian NFL player in need of a beard?
seriously. next time...underwear. I'm not spending any other holiday season wondering if it'll be my last babyless one.
I think I might be drunk enough to cut my own hair
I'm sitting in front of a fan naked drinking Gatorade. Motherfucking hangover probs
Moral of the story is go have sex with a foreigner and report back to me.
Just casually ripping a bowl in the chicken coop, with the chickens. NBD
I haven't listened to news as I've been having lesbian sex all night. Anything new?
Happy 20th birthday! I hope you like anxiety and having your debit card declined at McDonald's!
Randomize
