There is a new fb quiz: "are you at ypical woman, future ex or from crazy town" - should i take it?
Aren't all three of those the same though?
Even after projectile vomiting watermelon on the beach, it still sounds appetizing.
Headed to the bar now. If I smell faintly of latex and tuna, it's just the new scent I'm trying.
Cops came. Forced us to take the "Honk and We'll Drink" and the "Free Shots to Father's of Freshman Daughters" signs down. Before we did, someone honked and the cop said, "Aren't you gonna drink?" They then told us to move the party inside by ten.
Please say a prayer for the elevator people at work today. My farts are significantly more potent the day after hitting that korean place for lunch...
her vagina just converted me to Judaism.
You know you can't live off of vodka and pizza rolls forever
I'VE ALREADY MADE MY CHOICE
I just found a piece of squished oatmeal cream pie in my armpit. So very sad.
I am actually offended he hasn't asked me to sleep with him yet to get better grades...I wanted the whole college experience.
So this is what it's like to wake up with someone else's blood in your nose...
Today some guy at work told me I had the nicest hair he's ever seen and my response was "thanks I grew it myself". This is why I'm single.
The stripper was super into me until she pulled out my tits then I realized.... This bitch is just using my ass to get MORE TIPS
He just got home after serving 5 years in prison. And I think I may courtesy fuck him. Best Christmas present ever.
Let me atleast have my coffee before you start talking about your penis
you can see where the duct tape was on my nipple
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