Hahaha, sighhhh...I texted him to no response. It's a shame, really...I would gladly exchange my body for pizza rills.
i felt like we were having sex on ultimate fighter, and people on the outside kept yelling ELBOW ELBOW! KNEES KNEES!
At what point did you think the cops were actually coming to hang out with us
You cant hold me accountable for my actions when im high.
In their defense you were hugging a watermelon for a good portion of the trip
at one point i was feeding a guy sour cream chips and he made me make the "choo choo" noise as they were going in. \ni feel so much closer to him now.\n
Ginormous penis in the breeze, cumming champagne showers into your eye
Is it bad that I feel proud to be the first one to puke in the apartment? And I did it in style?
You straight up painted the counter with steak, tequila and beer. You owe me a knew toothbrush.
I need to stop getting high and watching documentaries. Wanna go to Japan with me and protest the mass genocide of dolphins?
My Captain America poster fell down. Cap is disappointed in my life decisions.
I'll just tell you, some how when we were having sex on Friday my collarbone got fractured.
I'm deleting Tinder. I got there he rubbed my back and then proceeded to jerk off on me.
*jedi mind trick* you want to go down on me
she broke the sink..i repeat the sink is off the wall. send help
Seriously. There were about 4 hours in which I swear my nose was not attached to my face.
Fuck. Totally just had sex instead of studying for econ test in an hour. Gonna get fucked again. HELP ME WITH YOUR EXTENSIVE KNOWLEDGE OF ECON
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