Just soaked up some whiskey with a paper towel and then squeezed it into a cup for consumption. New low.
Last night i was gna tell u about how i was watching project runway & how i was upset bc they replaced tim gunn & heidi klum. but then i realized that i was watching mythbusters.
True life - we need to smoke together more often
sometimes i just want to live alone. my roommate keeps looking at me weird like hes never seen a girl eat plain salt before
I just found $40 in the jeans I wore last night. PS I also found the jeans I wore last night.
all of your clothes are in the front law. btw..sprinklers go on in 20 minutes
My mom said "I don't want to fund your drug problem" so she gave me a gift card to the book store. I now have a 420 page book on growing weed.
Is waterboarding an exceptable way of getting sober?
He said you stopped mid-fuck, called fives on his dick, walked out to grab another drink, and came back.
Well the streets were closed, so it was okay for me to just lay down for a little bit.
The girls danced. I drank. Then I danced cause I was drunk. Then I ripped tim's shirt off cause I'm awesome.
My professor laid down on the floor and told us a story that involved being naked covered in Vaseline with a pumpkin on your head. No lie. This is going to be a great semester.
She told me to pick her up in the corner of shame and self-disgust.
It's a noodle incident. All I can say is that it was completely accidental, no one was too seriously injured, and I'm not allowed back to that bar without a designated pusher for my wheelchair.
GOOGLE HAS JUST RELEASED AN UPDATE THAT ALLOWS YOU TO CATCH POKEMON USING MAPS. Pack your shit, our time has COME.
We don't have the same problems as normal people do we?
Randomize