I think id rather eat ped egg shavings.
me and my sister are feeding my dog poprocks. this is proof you don't need a lot of money to have fun.
how are you gonna miss the world cup? other than the olympics it's our last way to assert our dominance over China after this economic bull shit
I'm going to make an art book filled with pics of me peeing in every bar bathroom I've ever been in. Dedicating it to you. You're welcome.
I just had sex in the men's bathroom of a Chinese buffet...
YOU ARE MY HERO
You shouted, "LOOK I'M HAWKEYE," and beaned mike with a dildo from across the room.
I woke up to a quacking alarm clock and a rando in my bed. I told him I liked his cargo shorts. Fireball is not my soulmate anymore.
I just offered a cat a "drinky drinky" I'd say my night has started
It’s like a buffet of marriages! Every option is available to you!
TFW YOU ACCIDENTALLY SEND A MEME ABOUT LIKING ANAL TO THE GROUP CHAT. JESUS FUCKING CHRIST, WHAT IS WRONG WITH ME?
why did i wake up in the bathroom?
we had to stay with you a while until we convinced you it wasn't safe to wash your face, then you fell asleep with your foot in the toilet.
i mean ive seen your left buttcheek how much more bro can this get
Your boobs are like a folk legend.
And despite my lack of successful relationships I'm a fucking guru
That's like claiming you're a good coach but going 2-12 last season
Well, you started screaming "I dont know you GO AWAY" to your mom when she was holding your hair as you threw up in her garden.
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