what the fuck were we smoking when we had a conversation about how my brother would be so proud if i fucked an orange alien?!?
just had an encounter with drunk people from out of state at dairy queen. they wanted to stay till march to see the high school play.
Peanut butter while high is kinda stressful
I think its only fitting my first purchase with my student loan is a glass pipe? I think ill name it 'Subsidized'
We were making condiment sandwiches, then her husband kept trying to get me to sleep with her. I hate being the only lesbian at the party.
I was going to ask the people in the kitchen to keep the volume down, but they're cooking pasta at 3 AM and one complimented me on my polka-dot nightgown. They're high. No volume control.
Somehow my drug dealer is stuck in my air-vent and now everything smells like patchouli, weed, deoderant and sweat.
IM TRYING TO SAY GOODNIGHT STOP FOR LIKE FIVE SECONDS WITH THE DICK SUCKING
Three of my exes and one of my exes' brothers have hit me up and it's only been a week. I hate semester break.
He said he discovered the mysteries of the universe inside an orange... I want whatever he was on.
Btw I'm playing passed out so you can get laid but obviously you need to take the offense just ask him if he wants to go to bed and leave a cigg on the counter
So congratulations, your penis has now sent me to urgent care not once, but twice!
Pretty sure I was naked for most of the night.....success
Damn. Looks like nobody I know is doing anything interesting. Guess it's another slut-it-up-with-strangers sort of night.
my alarm on my phone broke at the bar sooo i had to sleep with someone so i'd wake up on time for work.
Randomize
