a mothers knocking is a guaranteed boner softener
windsor, ontario is like a poor man's amsterdam
no, it is just poor
dude i doubt hes gay
I CAUGHT HIM BEATING OFF TO MENS HEALTH!
when your english prof writes "this was a real good paper" on your essay, you know you're at the wrong college
Just woke up with 34 slim-jims in my pocket. Too afraid to check the others.
Shaun got a portable breathalyzer for christmas so now we can tell who the biggest pussy is at the end of the night.
If a Romanian girl's marriage isn't considered legal in the US then she's fair game right?
You just begged me to mute the porn and watch her ass bounce while listening to dubstep the whole time.
he was inside of, then got up said "we don't want you having a baby," grabbed his car keys and left. so now i'm just sitting on his bed, wondering if he's coming back.
I sent "Rawrrrr" to 151 matches on Tinder. I feel like thats a substantial size of the DC female population.
Just yelled out loud for someone to buy me a drink, 30 seconds later random guy on grindr asks what I'm drinking.
There's a 98% chance your drink will taste like rohypnol
ATTENTION PENIS' OF BURLINGTON: I AM COMING FOR YOU
I just scored a new eye doctor and a date all in one email. BOOM!
Preface: Im drunk. But i think id make a good assasin. That is all.
Someone made a Christmas song to the Flintstones theme and I'm suing for emotional distress.
Randomize
