We made it safely. Thanks for the call though.
Great. Don't do shady things like that ok?
But he was like 75 and lives right near mom and dad. Not a threat at all.
areee we human. . .oorrr areee we dancerssssss?!
you srsly need to quit going to that bar
I just crawled out of a second story window using a sheet and his clothes for a rope so he wouldn't wake up.
I am so glad I watched Macgyver as a kid.
Is it bad that I voted for Scott Brown because I want to fuck him?
Nah. I did too.
entire chemistry final was about beer... i actually might miss this place
He was eating mac and cheese. Raw. Like as in he was eating the uncooked noodles then pouring the dry cheese in his mouth.
just got in my apt...and theres jungle juice here i left from over a month ago..this could be interesting...or deadly
I seriously had to check my phone this morning to make sure I didn't agree to any strange sexual favors.
It's my vagina- remember its magical and yes I just did mini spirit fingers
Maybe there is a secret pocket full of cocaine in that spiderman wallet.
Who put the fucking tampon in my Mike's hard lemonade?
I think my FWB just broke up with me and i don't know how I feel about that
Just let me pee on you and I'll leave you alone.
Having random cyber sex while watching to catch a predator just seems wrong.
Why is the turtle in the toilet again?
Well as I was puking in the tub I put him in there to keep me company but I am almost positive the original setup was him in the tub and me next to the toilet...I hope he likes tequila
Randomize
