every time you feel disappointed with the red wings take a shot
I thought at least he would want to exchange numbers after he tried to put it in my bum
If it looks like I didn't change from last night, it's because I didn't.
Guy passed out in the lobby with a keychain sharpie hanging from his belt loop. 1 guest came in and wrote on him, then others saw and got in line. I'm not waking him up.
Also managed to rip my pants and set myself on fire. And oddly enough I'm still not ready to ask for 2010 back.
I took my shirt off and stood in the kitchen for an hour and a half talking to his parents about my tattoos
my head hurts. i need an adult
and not like a cool parent adult. like a full fledged party pooper grandparent adult
He got thrown out for leaning over the bar topless and pouring himself some beer while singing the james bond song
I can't be 100% sure of this but I think tonight was the first time I told a middle aged woman holding a baby to go fuck herself
He refused to pierce my nipples, saying they are the best he's ever seen and that blemishing them would be a crime
I tried to find the bar, ended up at a car dealership. Then the alarms went off.
He's got the most well kempt beard I've ever seen and I need it between my thighs is basically what I'm saying
I just walked in on her masturbating to a social anxiety video...
His sisters are going to have a heyday finding all those condoms in their bunk beds.
Planning a vacation around my dog. I have become one of those dog moms.
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