Can we just schedule bi-weekly fucks and bypass all the bullshit?
"Shots" has been nominated for a grammy. Now all of the US has sunken to our level...
Brutal- a couple weeks back I had a 28 hr blackout and four day hangover. S'why I decided to haul it in
I am not saying a eulogy for your vibrator.
Do you think the Slutcracker will use the original score? I'll be so sad if they don't.
Btw "you gettin a workout in" isn't a great gym pickup line. Like no I'm fucking grabbing lunch on my way to class.
so in addition to the two guys I slept with last night, and the third that I turned down this morning, a fourth has appeared. best Valentine's Day ever.
You added his wife on Facebook?! You're horrible at this mistress thing
Cooked. Eating pizza. Didn't have a napkin so I took my shirt off and I'm using it.
I need a hoe opinion
go on
We've been fucking like crazy ever since she quit her job..ive been running errands all day to stay out of the house and give my dick a day of rest
I hate my life now
You don't feed me, fuck me, or fulfill me.
I'm just bringing him "breakfast," and breakfast may lead to lunch and dinner, but that doesn't mean I want the mealplan.
Spotify says I’m in the top 1% of Indigo Girls fans worldwide. Didn’t know I would peak this early.
Aren’t you trying to seem...less lesbian?
At this point, I would not mind getting hit by a truck. It would mean I could get this over with quicker.
Randomize
