just woke up and my boobs have "fun police" written on them
he like comes into my room and is like..."can you fix my pants" and then just drops trou
Got one of only two perfect scores in the class on the quiz I took drunk. This is not a good thing for me to have learned about myself.
he has the hands of the vagina gods.
That's unfortunate. Distance can be a stoner's greatest enemy.
You make it sound like a battle for Middle Earth.
It was my penance. God came down to me in the form of an angel and said, "you must atone for your sins, by puking in your mouth at church right before communion"
Hey man. We haven't met but my name is Ben. I threw up a bunch at your house last night. I heard you smoke though so I'll smoke you out anytime.
her dad gauges his nipple piercings.
I'm gonna fuck that sweet little pussy of yours into absolute submission
Wow. Sorry. As soon as I sent that I felt inappropriate. But yes. Bring a sandwich after. Lol
He used Kanye West lyrics to justify what happened and I accepted his logic
My tub is filled with twinkies which would be awesome if they were still wrapped and not floating in a mixture of bath water and what appears to be vomit.
You're dick is like the main character. It needs its own picture.
When i said you could use my car and have sex in the back....i wasn't being serious.
I don't know what to say to you.
I don't know what I said to you. Start with that.
Joke’s on you. I got to talk to a furry about why nukes are bad and why musicals are good.
Randomize
