idk, i just don't think periods are something you can catch in a little cup.
I woke up to a bunch of college seniors jacking off a horse in my face. Geuss who didnt move in time?
she smelled like a LAN party
There are rumors he has a square penis....ill do anything though....
Is it bad that I just used Smirnoff as mouthwash?
No no no no no. Not interrested. She looks just like Kim's fat booth picture. Only real.
Just gave a urinal high five to a complete stranger. Might not be such a bad night after all
Did the math... it's Magna Cum Laude whether I get a 4.0 or a 0.0 this semester. I'm blacking out now, wake me up when I have to walk across the stage,
Totally just sport flirted the shit out of a girl on a wheelchair. I've done my good deed for the day.
You told me to pour the Gatorade on you "like Flashdance"
I can feel the fear and stress bubbling in my stomach. Or maybe that is the pregnancy.
he said something along the lines of "fish can smell fear"
I'm ok. I've got the pantsless-with-dignity thing down pat
What exactly do I say to a random stoner hookup to thank him for ending my dry spell? Is it awkward to just say "Thanks for that. It was well needed."
UGH I HATE BEING THIS WAY IM GOING TO GO HUG THE CACTUS YOU GOT ME
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