I may be the first guy in history to get dome while watching An Extremely Goofy Movie.
It sucks..Now I'm depressed because appearence wise, she's the closest to my favorite pornstar I'll ever get..
we weren't quite sure what was on that mirror, so we snorted it and hoped for the best
If its allowed to Tornado at 830am then Im allowed to have a beer and a cigarette at 830am
why did I try to FaceTime with 311 last night?
I just bid on a $9000 car because I think its my ex-girlfriends. Yes I wanna hit that again.
You're telling me you've never sent a picture of your cock to a girl and then were all like "Oops, sorry, wrong person! By the way...You like?"
So then I proceeded to the kitchen to make my "specialty," which consisted of a frozen veggie burger topped with peanut butter. I guess he ate it too.
Can you explain to me why there are fake boobs glued on my chest?
I just gave my mom some ones that look like they've probably been in some strippers cooter. Oops.
Haha. Just tell your mom not to smell them
Hey mom, most of this money I'm giving you is in ones. Don't ask why and whatever you do don't smell them.
Sounds legit to me.
He literally named all the parts of the vagina as he fingered me. No more pre-med virgins.
Toppless hop-scotch needs to become a competitive sport
Alex I've come up with a new medical condition. dick depression. it's a real thing and I have it
I just watched my high school guidance counselor pee in the backyard of this party.
i just wanna know who wrote "dibbz" on my ass?
Randomize
