I was about to buy asher roth's album and then i realized he was a ginger. can't support
i'm wearing my white shorts to coax my period out of hiding.
And then he came out of the bathroom in a kimono
We had sex on the hood of my car and broke the windshield.
She's thinkin about havin beer pong at her reception... She's walkin a fine line between trashy and the best idea ever
Note to self: never do anything I don't want to explain to a paramedic
oh don't forget that when we go furniture shopping we have to find a matching bong so put more money in the furniture fund
Ps I don't think it counts as being open minded if you didn't know he was missing a leg until you had already started making out.
She looked at my facebook and decided to bump the security deposit up an extra 250...now we have to destroy the house, its expected and I wouldn't want to disappoint
You left your underwear on the fireplace
He's a waiter, looks 15, and told me he loved me after only talking to me for 30 minutes. I told him I wanted a margarita. We got 3 free pitchers. I may have to make this our regular Wednesday night hangout.
I normally need adult supervision or a babysitter, but I refuse to let someone keep me from making irresponsible and wrong decisions at the bar on my last bday ill ever have in texas
Had a dream I beat up niall then madeout with him while snorting coke out of a dragons egg
Too bad, iambic pentameter is a drunk specialty of mine.
Why can't he see that I don't want a slow getting to know you period? I just want to bone. NOW.
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