i hope S**** or M***** or someone took note of the fact that i was drinking popov like water and could no longer form sentences. i mean, dont get me wrong i had been thinking about boning R*** long before my sobriety left the picture but the number of reasons not to, outweighed the temptation and without sir robert burnett as R***'s wingman, it would have never happened
Last night was a blur. All I remember is jizzing in the squeegee bucket at a gas station.
The look on the soccer mom's face was PRICELESS.
id tell you what to do, but my morals dont exactly scream, "Listen to this guy!"
i have a feeling he has a nice dick. i can just sense it.
Hands down the best time I've ever had barfing.
I just caught Brandon licking the fake chocolate on a smores ornament
Those were the days I had no morals... Dark times.
Shall we take a trip back?
We got out of the car in valet drinking beers we gave the valet one as a tip
That's just weird. That doesn't make sense sexually at all. I mean, you might as well tape a pen to the tip and try and write your name while you're at it.
I slipped in the shower today and broke my lighter..
Stumbled across a pregnancy test in my closet. Oh, the freshman year flashbacks..
I have been drunk every time I've gone to mexico. I do not remember mexico.
Tbh I fell asleep cuddling a bag of Brazilian nuts. Franzia never dissappoints me
Also, it was so cold in that bathroom that I saw my crap steaming, a first in my life
I am one with the molecules
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