Oh yes. The girl who wanted me to watch her pee.
Ambien does the same to me. One time that I took it, I got this huge bowl of spaghetti out of the fridge and thought it was a castle and that the meatballs were little slaves. I ate all of them first and then the noodles were the soldiers and the sauce was the water in the moat. And when I finished, I fell up the stairs and threw it all up.
I picked my nose. Flicked it. I heard it hit something. Next thing I know, it's floating around in my wine glass.
I just added her as a friend on Facebook. I met her 5 minutes ago and there are already more than 50 pics of me uploaded... from other nights.
It's gotten to the point where NOT peeing in the sink feels strange and uncomfortable.
so i walk in and shes blowing her vag with a hair dryer. so i asked what she was doing, she said heating up supper.. come eat ;)
i'm so jealous of you right now.
Woke up naked in another mans house. If that keeps happening, then I probably need to go gay. You know to make it ok.
Synchronized big wheels back flips off the second floor roof. Good idea or great idea?
WHYAREWHITEGUYSSOBADINBED?! What the fuck went wrong, evolution?
We can see it once so I can see the whole movie, then I'll go see it with him so I know when the boring parts are and I can have sex with him during those parts
Today I'm playing this game called how physically long can I Lay in this one spot before moving, do you have an estimated time of departure?
The nun costume is coming back hard and it still has glitter and the smell of Vegas on it.
Best. Text. Ever.
you were holding her above your head singing Circle of Life in what i assume was a Simba reference. then she smacked her head on a bar light and the bouncers kicked you out
I ended up changing her contact in my phone to "O Great Potato".
I want to get drunk and watch somebody else's tragedy.
Randomize
