Picture Ja Rule and 50 Cent having a sexy full grown love child son...He's on my bus right now, wearing an outside jacket with no shirt underneath. My fashion sense and libido are fighting it out.I'll keep you posted on who wins.
i am about to cut my stepbrother's hair into a mohawk with the same clippers i use to trim my pubes. god is so on my side today.
I'm not sure what happened last night, but my turtle seems afraid of me.
I had fun. Till he melissa etheridged my ass and came to my window.
You slow danced with your carpet steamer last night.
These fall allergies are really hindering my cocaine habit.
So my girlfriend used a threesome to tell me she wanted to leave me for a girl... Not entirely sure how I should feel about that.
I was puzzled last night that there were shots waiting for us when we got there. Just read my messages and saw you were ordering from the bar via texts.
I wanna get shitfaced and yell about Tim tebow
Disregard the shoes in the freezer.
Turns out I was the only one drinking. I broke one guy's bed and kicked another in the face. Then when an RA came by I shouted to let him in he's gonna find the vodka anyway. Great night
Then he shook the next streetlight but this one broke and fell over. He told me, "This is the part where we run."
I just have to point out that once I typed "fa" my phone filled in "fatass"
I chatted up the pastor's son on Grindr during the service. Still ridiculing my decision to go to church this morning?
You ever fart so hard it made you cum a little? A "friend of mine" wanted to know.
Randomize
