Is it 'vaginas' or 'vaginae?'. Either way there were a shit ton of them.
I can see my step sister's thong. Don't know if I should let myself be turned on or not
I just put a condom on my dildo so i wouldng get another uti....most depresIng moment of.my LIFE
I get free beer too. Its called a vagina and its accepted everywhere like visa
Does my status still say I suck cocks? I don't know how to change it
Her facebook status is 'PERCS ON DECKKK~' which is probably why she still lives with her parents.
you woke me up in the middle of the night to tell me you were taking off your pants and it was not an invitation.
Im gonna wear a random assortment of things for Halloween, guy with the most creative answer gets laid
I'm more of a "get high and take a bath" kinda guy.
If you sleep with another manager before the year is up you'll deserve an accomplishment sticker.
Do not buy a prego test at the Walgreens you frequent. It's awkward. Just trust me.
You took acid last night and I’m up early to go to the grand opening of a new TJMaxx by my house. We couldn’t be more perfect.
I wish u could call a dildo. Like you do a missing cell phone.
All I wanted to do was come home from work and masturbate for national sex day... I sliced my the tip of finger giving myself a pedicure so I can’t even do that #singlelife
Drinking at 10 in the morning and swimming might not be the best idea I've ever had but it beats working
Randomize
