its awkward enough using a urinal next to your dad but its worse finding out hes one of the guys who goes no hands and moans it out
I just remembered I gave a homeless man a ride to his bridge last night.
she refuses to pay for the plan b and so do i. it's the most dangerous game of chicken i've ever been involved in. but i have my pride.
you're in nursing school, now tell me what to do about a burned clit.
i don't even remember going to get food. i think i got gas too.
you know you made out with my sister while holding Ur girlfriends hand while she was puking in the toilet right
at that time a 4 pound meatball stuffed with pizza rolls seemed more important than bailing you out of jail.... sorry.
I don't care if I just threw up. You kiss me now. This is marriage.
She had one of those kid princess beds. I asked how she expected to fuck on that and she just said "thats what the slide is for". I've never wanted to marry a one night stand before.
Finishing last nights 1.5L of wine and beef jerky for breakfast. Work looms, ever the prickly bitch.
Yep. I'm going to buy a sex toy and a LARP prop on the same trip. Welcome to my life.
she pointed to my dick and said you are going to save the world
I am available for nakedness
i can eat my weight in tater tots. don't test me, bitch
he asked if he should bring the trash can into the room.. apparently i shoved my finger all over his face and said.. shhhh dont talk... just take your pants off.
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