first missing my period. then crying at the clinic... but why?
we had sex 3 months ago. you missed your period 2 weeks ago. but nice try.
Well, its 5:30am and you haven't let me in, I guess ill go home
you would pick up someone in the library
His roomates just started party boying me. He stood there with the look of horror on his face.
dude you said you were going to be a human flag and climbed the telephone pole and fell in front of a car
Brilliant thought; pill pong.
What could go wrong?
She was mad I came so fast. I was like, It's the Olympics! Fastest time wins! We can train you in the offseason.
Here's the thing, you got road head in two different cars tonight. You feel lucky yet?
I think there's a problem with society when I'm shopping for lingerie and I think "man some of these would make kickass shirts"
Rigtt?!
Dude we smoked with a bunch of random stoners in a forest, then group hugged. It was the most magical thing we've ever done.
She wouldn't eat a clam- if you blow a line pregnant you can eat a clam
IM HUNGOVER AT MOTHERS DAY BRUNCH AND A NUN FROM CHURCH JOINED US
You weren't stupid you just made an ass of yourself. It's called a birthday party. That's code for night of regrets.
Spent like 2 minutes so far learning and 35 minutes in a group chat talking about big asses. Yet another Wed zoom meeting.
I need to find a divorced guy with a boat and let my tits do the talking
Randomize