I mean she's dancing like an epileptic patato and i'd like to slap her
seems the shocker is way more shocking if u get the fingers wrong
im over her. I got weed and youtube. everything i could ever ask for.
tonight i'm making a christmas tree shaped shot pyramid
just threw up in the bushes outside my lecture hall. sometimes i hate the freedom college gives you.
So I woke up today with someone's door knob in my pocket. I hope everbody else got out of the house ok.
Ok, was I really fucked up or was there a chick from Norway in the ice cream shop teaching us Norwegian last night?
He did not appreciate the "you did reuse the diamond" comment when looking at his new fiance's ring.
Yea dude. I'm gonna be the life of the party. THIS BITCH GETS DRUNK BY HERSELF
plus there's no nice way to tell a guy you physically hate the shape of their cock.
Someone's shaving their pubes at work every Monday and it's starting to piss me off
I mean come on
I just had the most intense bikini wax of my life, i felt like i needed guardrails
It's getting to the point where my ability to get dick pix during the work day is impressing even me. Take that, adulthood!
where did we go last night? there's dollar bills all over my room & they're all wet.
it's 1043 pm. still havent changed out of the shirt i wore last night so at this point i figure i'll go for twosies.
Randomize
