me and ur bf were arguing about whether coke was vegan. i really hope it's vegan
got some bad news about ur virginity. she didnt make it thru the night
I dont care how high you are, meat and sprinkles dont mix dude
I want to hold her baby but I'm afraid I'll give it a contact buzz
I know you claim to have a large penis but I do not believe in what i cannot see. Sort of like god.
Dinner?
YES CON MARGARITAS POR FAVOR!!!! MUCHO MARGARITAS!!!
Welcome to drunk texts. Live from Margaritaville, it's Saturday night!!!
I don't think I can recall what a 23 year old cock felt like if one slapped me in the face.
No matter how drunk I am or how drunk I'll ever be I love you
Really stoned me is having a very serious, intent conversation with my mom about egg rolls and koolaid flavors.
You rubbed a frozen pizza in my face. The concerning part was that it was semi cooked from our body heat
I mean, except for the part where I was vomiting up pineapple and hot sauce, it was a really fun time.
I'm pretty sure I smell like alcoholism and shame. And it's not a pretty scent.
i'm not sure you can trust me in a car with 20 dozen donuts
How was the tequila? Are you making bad decisions yet?
Randomize
