He introduced her to the DMA meeting by saying: in the past few years i've never seen someone work so hard for so little success
Dude?? where did you go after Wildcats last night? Last I heard you went off with one of the girls we danced with?
Negative - This is his GF, Bobby is in Jail for a DUI. Thanks for the info.
I should have bought two bottles, she left before I could feel her tits...
Three 40's of Mickeys, is no excuse to be naked at Baskin Robins.
so i told her that taking semen on the face helps make your skin smoother.
and?
luckily she was drunk enough to believe she had really bad acne...
If I saw her on the street and didn't know about the two of them, I would think the only way she'd ever find love was if she somehow found her way to middle earth and an orc took her in
Holy fuck. She looks like Vin Diesel's stuntman
I just answered "If only I knew" for a quiz in criminology, she loved it. I got an A
By the way, her vagina was so tight i was worried that i would be stuck forever
All semester I have been trying to figure out if this kid in front of me is gay. His cell phone just went off with Britney's "Circus". Case closed.
She kept saying 'I love you' but i couldn't tell if she was talking to me or to her beer.
Did copperhead road at the bar. All the girl next to me did was stare at my glorious bouncing tits. CAN I FUCKING HELP YOU?? I worked hard for these tits.
Driving from bar to bar trying to recover all of the possessions I've drunkenly lost over the course of the past few nights. Actual nadir of my life and absolute height of shamblyness.
Props for using the word nadir
Turns out the bartender I fucked is the bar owner. WHY THE FUCK DO I PAY FOR HALF MY DRINKS? IS SEX NOT TIP ENOUGH?
I just poured two shots of fireball into my Rapunzel mug I love finals.
Randomize
