just do it
fine only cuz shes asian
Grossest hangover story of 09: Puked in the bathtub. I was in it.
hot pretzels for dinner, snacks, and now breakfast...oh to be a poor college student...everyday is like a carnival.
Dude dan is so baked he taped his remote to the futon so he couldn't lose it again. Come over here
explain the missing patches of hair on my cat. now.
They thought "watering it down" meant adding more vodka
remember to ask your mom about the name of her pet duck so we can name the bowl
Drunk walkin through police station. America
Just got that "I know what's going on with your vagina" look from that CVS cashier.
You bought MORE?!
You may now shotgun with the bride
Haha keeping the dream alive until Chinese New Year. I'm jobless with stitches in my face.
I'm cooling my balls with a beer because I'm too cheap to turn on the AC
The first thing my Christmas gift money is buying is a dildo.
Let's say we can see the evolution of our "relation" by his name in my phone. Pizza slice emoticone. Pizza guy. Jordan. Jo. Jackhammer Pizza Guy. Jockhammer pizza guy.
I’ll always remember that day you sent me that random nude on accident lmao changed my life
Randomize