I was staring at you from my window across the quad. I wanted to let you know so it's not creepy
just opened a can of spagetti o's with a butter knife. the things u will do for food when ur stoned.
new girl just came onto the hall stumbling drunk with no shoes on and the guy who brought her doesn't have them either
could you please tell me why you thought vodka soaked band aids were a good idea?
I kinda wanna eat your hands right now.
Put down the everclear and go to bed.
No, no... it's pale and surrounded by awkward, curly, red hair. It's the Ronald McDonald of penises.
IT'S SUMMA TIME
ITS SUMMA TIME NOT BE HIGH ALL THE TIME TIME
THEY'RE THE SAME THING
I'm seeing double so when I get home can we have a threesome?
She used my 100 Ways To Cope With Stress handout to wipe puke off her face
If you sleep with another manager before the year is up you'll deserve an accomplishment sticker.
there's people who respect me enough not to bang on my bed and i think that's beautiful
Currently looking up Winnie-the-Pooh porn.
A good example of deductive reasoning: Knowing that when my girlfriend texts me "I promise not to smoke all your weed!" that she is...at that VERY moment...Smoking All Of My Weed.
shots, cocks, socks. bingo
I think my brain is throwing up inside my head. How do you live like this?
Randomize
