Kareoke will never be a sober sport
Everyone knows that the fastest route to a corporate advancement is to take a shot in the mouth
dude skip the party. it is a fucking post office here
what the hell does that mean?
nothing good but a whole lotta male and packages
did i by any chance text you anything about feathers last night?
you mean faeutihaers?
I need to shower. I still have paint on me from the homeless guys
If I have to go to the hospital can we stop by the liquor store on the way?
i'm so sad bro, I can't get any pussy. I'm so sad
We were both halfway out the window trying to give each other high fives over the roof while the dude was going 150.
I won the booty shaking contest by mooning the whole bar
So you're on like a list there now..."Do not under any circumstances give this person a knife. Serve them in plastic cups ONLY"
It's a special kind of bond when your gay brother takes pics of you topless at a frat party.
I'm eating chocolate cake while this guy snaps me from the gym. Like I cant believe i actually considered getting rid of this cake. Have fun sweating ima eat this cake 👌
Hey do you remember me?
You were a giant banana.... how could I forget.
I'm going to force her to break up with me this week. Tonight I plan to shit the bed. If that doesn't work I'm not sure what's next.
Can I send you a random dick pic? It's got a lightsaber tattoo
Randomize
