Well I thought I'd be nice but yeah I'm not a fan of you either you're an arrogant stupid cocky unfunny loser. Don't talk to me you're crazy
I think I just was a dick to Paul Rudd.
she told me her fantasy was her as a 55 year old cook at a truck stop who smokes a pack a day, and I was the 21 year old illegal immigarnt prep cook.
i really wanted you to get laid last night and i didnt think you were going to. so i posted porn on your facebook.it made sense at 3am
four days late. damn you, makeup sex. you win again.
I was holding her hair back and when she quit puking she told me she's been saving her scissor virginity for me.
I know i should have focused more on what you were saying in the text rather than the fact you spelt "suicidal" wrong
You were yelling in my ear let's double team her with her right next to us
Caught in the act of lying. Lipstick literally all over his dick. He tried to make some story about darkwing duck or some shit but failed to realize he is a complete moron.
I may have had sex with him and told him we wasn't worth my time then went home and made mashed potatoes
He said that I started crying after sex because he was leaving to go back to Europe after the semester was over and I wouldn't see his dick anymore. This is why I need to stop hooking up with the exchange students.
It's so hard to fall asleep when I can hear your genitals smacking against hers. I hate you with all the love in my heart.
We're meant to be. Apparently God wants me to get dicked down pretty good too so I'm not complaining about destiny
I had sex in the bed of a guy who owns a house last night so I feel like this is a significant step up from car sex in the parking lot of a library
Talk shit all you want but with my new knife sharpener I have a lethal razor sharp pizza cutter. Fuck with me Mario I dare you!
Randomize
