Sexting assembly today. Fuck yes
can you buy anything in the cafeteria for less than $2? I spent the last of my laundry money on a chia pet
I just used cruise control in a 25 zone. When will this hangover end???
Tell Chris I said sorry for yelling "It's my vagina, let me do what I want with it!" at the party last night.
It's amazing how not interested in talking to him I am since I've decided that he probably has chlamydia.
I don't remember because I was drunk out of my mind, but I have it on good authority that weed cinnamon buns at 3 in the morning with chocolate milk are better than sex.
I hate that we are older than the real world people now
We're keeping you on a leash this Saint Patrick's Day
Yeah. I woke up in an awkward three way spoon with him and his sister. Tequila!
I just remember yelling "BODY SHOTS BODY SHOTS BODY SHOTS" while I was streaking
We fired a shoe out of a medieval cannon. I know not where we got either one.
I just formed the "shit on a tree in Chicago club." And I feel awful about it.
You yelled "Shame!" like you were that bitch from Game of Thrones and then hit my balls full force with your sports bra
Someone puked in my crockpot. Your friends can’t come over any more.
I was watchin a porno and I sware I saw that dude at the bar at applebees the other night
Randomize
