We found an eightball on the ground last night. I mean, really, who does that?
I'm at the bar and I just saw some unnecessary and accidental cooter...sometimes I think girls need a license to go out pantyless in public.
i feel like barbie the morning after an elton john party
Hold on. She's wrapped herself in toilet paper and is scaring the dog.
Too many margaritas?
What can I say? When alcohol is my motivation, I can move mountains.
In honor of the internet blackout, I think everyone needs to change their Facebook pictures to ones of them being blacked out.
He referred to his penis as "a gentle giant" and said I had offended it
i ordered 6 shots "to go" what did you think was going to happen!
Then this bride walked into the bar, she thought it would be a good idea to hug her & then she started playing parachute with her train.
most desperate stoner moment might have been when we filled the bong up with pond water
desperate times, desperate measures
She's calming us down by shoving oreos in our mouths
Iron Man just asked me back to his place... Not sure I can handle this. Wish me luck.
Her hookup left his underwear and shorts in the dorm last night... What he was wearing when he left, we may never know.
Plus my parents would be pissed if I spent Thanksgiving in jail... again.
1 why did you tell them where i peed last night and 2 where the fuck are you
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