we were having sex in the shower and he dropped me. try explaining THAT to your concerned little brother
I just jerked it to the same porn two nights in a row... and she says I have problems with commitment...
I love my bros weed
Im gonna hate it in like 20 mins though
She smells like mac and cheese, right after you add the cheese. It's strangely erotic.
HOnestly. That's my one goal for this whole trip. I don't give a shit about souvenirs or sand. I want penis.
Well apparently "don't come inside of me" wasn't one of the English phrases he understood! On the bright side... At least he will get his green card for having an american kid!
Uh, also, Rob told me he felt bad for choking you.
he fucked my hip out of place.
Rick Santorum just suspended his campaign. Lets celebrate by watching gay pornography together.
drunk in woodshop so don't even say "I SAWWW THIS COMING." I know you're thinking it.
bring the pregnancy test and the margarita mix, see you in 15
I biked home blackout drunk last night, but I have some memory of throwing my bike in a rage when I couldnt get it down the stairs. No idea on the bright orange puke in the sink.
Update: He still has devil magic genitals.
I just ate broccoli before drinking. Does that make me a responsible adult?
he was almost the father of your baby, you should let him take you to dinner
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