We just made mixed drinks in the bathroom of burger king. This is sad.
my grandma just put on bowling shoes, to play wii bowling.
But it was well worth it to see a man fly through the air in a beaver costume...
Who would win... a chainsaw pooping pterodactyl or a bear with machine guns for feet. big debate about this right now
just so you're aware of it in the morning: you tried to slide down the railing on a snuggie. twice.
You kept hugging the big bouncer & feeling the other ones beard
It's totally ok to sleep with him. The only place I have feelings for him is in my vagina.
I knew I was in trouble when she kept referring to the next day as things we should do
So you brought her to my house and left her on my couch.
I'm sitting on the toilet eating a Chick-Fil-A breakfast sandwich. How's your Monday?
you told the police officer you wanted to be just like her one day but not a lesbian
So, got kind of drunk last night, made out with some guy, and somehow stole his credit card. Don't even know.
There was a clear and well defined point last night where I could've decided to go home but no now I've woken up with glitter all over my nuts and potentially an std or 2
Made out with some dude at the bar last night. Was fun until he thought bohemian rhapsody was by The Who
The stripper was super into me until she pulled out my tits then I realized.... This bitch is just using my ass to get MORE TIPS
If youre worried about being stabbed, you probably shouldnt be there.
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