Update. It gets worse. A) he's done viagra and B) he wears socks at all times.
It was like a drunk episode of Dora the Explorer. In English.
I just finished washing your number off of my chest. I'm Bryan by the way.
Question: Would it be wrong to just fuck both of them and decide who to date one performance of their cocks?
The first song on his sex mix was "highway to the danger zone"
I am only moving my arms so I remember that I can. These brownies are wild.
Tough to be a good wingman when you puke on yourself and everyone w/in a 5 ft radius at the FIRST bar we go to so don't tell me to step my game up
Go forth my little lesbian, get your gayme on
I round house kicked her emotions in the face
This is a mass text. I will facerape you if you bring me Fierce Melon Gatorade and 4 D batteries.
You literally spelled every word wrong or with numbers except for "drunk", which you used all caps for.
I felt the need to accentuate it....
That moment when you realize the hot british guy named rory you drunkenly made out with at a bar is American, is named Tyler, and has a girlfriend.
COKE WAS NOT ON THE ITINERARY FOR TONIGHT.
While I was giving him head he told me he had to go door to door the next day and "spread the word of Jesus Christ" I felt like a Disney villain out to steal his virtue.
Straight boys are literally imbeciles. If Darwinism doesn’t get them female rage will.
Randomize
