I don't know where your sunglasses are, I was too preoccupied with girls not old enough to drive past midnight.
woke up with ski boots on and a kayak in my room... birthday successful? i'd say so
Listening to her yell about my drinking problem is not helping my hangover.
Today's lesson: while in the shower, one should choose between either drinking OR shaving. Not both.
Watching Fresh Prince at 9am with a beer in hand and he just said to Uncle Phil "Sometimes I worry that I'll never get my life together." I feel like that was a sign from above or something
The last thing i remember is saying breakfast beer and carrying the keg to my room and locking the door.
He compliments me like a gay guy and fucks me like a starved nympho. I'm in love.
I hate it when fuck holes buy me drinks at the bar. You don't know my order. You don't know me. You don't know where I've been. You don't know my life.
You were great dude. You wanted to charge the guy with fedora $100 to get in.
Meanwhile I'm googling glory holes in Vegas
I think my pussy is going to freeze to the ground
You smell like a steam boat captain.
Whatever your on right now, I want.
I don't know..He walked out of your room with a kraft single..and blood on his shirt...He really wanted cheese.
remind me again why we thought drinking hungarian moonshine was a good idea
We should get drunk in walmart
when?
20 minutes ago
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