i hope thats the last time i ever see ryan's hairy ass fucking
I want to get so wasted that I make middle aged irish men look like mormon girls
just fyi, hangover + ice skates = really bad idea
her sex was completely horrible but her weed was great. imma ask her out again
We found him. 8 blocks away from the bars and almost at his parent's house. On the verge of tears.
You just sat there and yelled "I JUST WANT TO RUB MY NIPPLES"
I just found a casserole dish in my oven filled with broken glass, blood, and chopsticks. And the REALLY fucked up thing is that finding it answered more questions than it raised.
Can't wait to bequeath this flannel to my grandchildren someday.
'I've been using this to pick up lesbians since before you were born!'
there's a drunk hobo under the bridge wearing a jester hat and screaming at women
best eviction party ever.
it wasn't an eviction party you asshole, you just happened to get yourself evicted during the party.
I'm writing off my condom expenses in my taxes
He was doing dishes, naked. I dropped to my knees and gave him head. Teamwork level- pro..
You're the air beneath my wings and the lookout when I pee
Hey do you remember me?
You were the giant banana I had sex with... how could i forget?
they just got in argument over who had more of your dick pics. quit sending shit to my sisters fucker
Randomize
