You're the 8th person from last night to text me this morning and ask if I'm ok.
This chick just checked into her walk of shame on Foursquare... I think I'm in love.
What did I eat last night that was bloody?
I'm gonna be a few minutes late, some asshole just fell off the ferry so we had to stop.
I was riding her and she yelled "fuck me" then someone in the room next door yelled "you don't have to say it if youre doing it."
Also, any YOLOwl-related sex photos will result in you winning ten orgasms, courtesy of myself, as well as sweets and bacon-based dinner. All entrants welcome
I let him fuck me in a batman costume. Don't talk to me about needing to read fifty shades gray.
Don't forget ur talking to the master juggler. Remember that time I slept with 3 guys and made them all pay for plan b? Paid the rent didn't I?
You have no idea what this goes for my ego. I literally made you cum in your sleep.
Unless you're gonna start buying my underwear, you have got to stop ripping it off of me.
Topless dodge ball cldnt top that
All I know is you walked out of the kitchen in some kind of French onion dip bra and started passing out individual chips to guys saying " do you dip?"
Thx for last night. I've never had so much fun while being told my life decisions are questionable at best.
I woke up on the couch screaming in pain. I don't know how ended up there or why my foot was double the size. all I know is I'm now in a cast and never drinking tequila again. worst hangover ever.
So. Much. Porn.
Randomize
