I hate bills.
Like ones you have to pay or people named William?
how do you clear previous safari searches on an iPhone? i asked my brother to google something for me and "big penis" "empire chinese food" and "reverse cowgirl" popped up.
found a new level of pathetic. i watched a guy pick out cigarette butts from a jar that weren't completely finished. make sure you go somewhere in life.
Mat is currently running around his basement "trying to catch oxygen in his mouth."
so when we were booking the hotel and plane tickets for vegas we reserved a chapel for someone, it's inevitable.
Awww. A guy on the train just took his coat off so his girlfriend could throw up into it. Who says chivalry is dead?
Having a race with the dryer. Seeing who can get drunk/dry clothes faster.
Apparently I still called the officer "sir" despite the fact I was at a .21 BAC. Southern girls are raised right
Major win last night. I traded my roommate two cigs for a six pack and a bag of beef jerky. This has been a Brian weekend update
It's acceptable to bring him back to my parents house and fuck on the couch right??
Well it might’ve been because you asked to play What Makes You Beautiful at the club
Please tell me im imagining that i claimed that i was king of the ducks.
I'm trying to secure Christmas dick. Idgaf if he has strep or not.
ok morning sex is a totally valid reason to come in late... ur good, cya in 20
There's a point in life when you've got to take dick like a big girl.
Randomize
