are you excited because you wanna see me or because you wanna get laid?
bc i get to see you. naked.
There's 12 honey baked hams in my fridge. I vaguely recalled you organizing a "Midnight Ham Run."
You were chewing up hot dogs and spitting them out
Come outside. The vendor wants to go out strong tonight! Russian hooker interviews. Don't ask. We leave in 3 minutes.
But seriously he was like a god with his hands. My vagina feels annointed.
Just wait til you visit, there will be an endless supply of fresh dick for your demand #economics
Also was told that I was her "third favourite booty call" - I'm taking this a good thing right?
It's a podium place so yeah...
Also the McRib is back. Lets get high, dress like cowboys, and eat some McRibs.
SEX BINGO!
Canadian or clown?
just sex-dialed 911. that's 34 seconds of dignity i will never get back.
After sending me a dick pic, he asked, "yay or nay?"
We were having a serious discussion about Blue's Clues and I just kept thinking, 'you've seen me naked'.
Hahaha more like walk of pride. You entered the lions den last night.
You just accidentally called me. You kept saying "Really?! Really?!!" So I can only assume you are having sub par sex
Just had a threesome with my best friend and LSAT teacher...just checked three things off my bucket list in one night
Randomize
