It was like his mom forgot to breastfeed him and he was making up for lost time.
he doesn't care that i have a boyfriend so why should i?
logic in its finest
You were dancing on the bar and fell off into the arms of the hot bartender. It was like a fairy tale, with more alcohol.
What happened on tuesday that a stripper knows my full name?
Have you ever seen a porn where they were playing bluegrass in the background?
He yelled "juice on the loose", yes i am sure i need plan b
Please don't drown this weekend. It would be a shame to lose a dick like yours.
Nope, sorry. Already took my bra off. All down hill from here. My next act will be crying, singing, and eating girl scout cookies in the shower. You can come watch the shit show though.
What is she getting? Last time we talked her behavior was conducive to getting a tramp stamp on her face.
They sleep with other people as long as there is no oral. Logic and reason were thrown out the window a long time ago with them.
I don't know if your celebrity crush has ever asked you for nudes, but it's fucking awesome
Now when you said you'd never sleep with me, did you really mean never on a Monday or never without handcuffs or a blindfold or never on a airplane or never without lots of booze? Cus never is a pretty strong word.
They should make eskimo sister bracelets. OMG WE NEED BRACELETS WITH IGLOOS ON THEM.
I just want you to know you're the worst sister ever.
If this is about me and your ex, it's not my fault she doesn't like men.
can you take a pic of your glorious tits but not send it just yet? I need motivation to finish this bull shit presentation.
Randomize
