My mom says you aren't allowed to eat doritos at my house
i guess you could say your face is two degrees of separation from my balls
I don't know. The next thing I remember we were in the walmart parking lot making out.
She's not depressed. She's just sober. It's like the same thing.
i think you walked me home, then i felt bad for putting you through the trouble so i walked you home...i'm not sure how i got home after that.
I ended up in a shower with 9 people and a bunch of unopened beer last night. I think I got peed on. Hands were everywhere. We sold the peed on beer to people knocking on the hotel room door.
Wow, now I'm sad I didn't go.
It was a legit night tell he threw a snowball in the bar, thats when I knew it was time to go to the next bar.
I got shot at last night. Lesson about married chicks: learned.
Dramatic love triangle! I guess mystery Asian and I will just have to fight it out for your love.
Dude, I had no choice. I was defending my genitals.
it's my birthday, i should be around people i want to fuck
I was hoping for a marriage proposal... Or at least an offer to sleep in his bed.
Reasons why I'm always right: I am older, I am wiser, I have a larger penis
I think I need to expose myself to your dog so he knows that I am also a male.
My mum just told me to stop being so pathetic and just find someone to have sex with, even if I don't like them, just be grateful for the sex. Wow.
Randomize
