I want to bang chis in dee ass burt he be hating on me times two. Me be tryin ti love onu
Bendover
I have now ridden the bus with a ninja, a samurai and Jesus. Who says the bus is for losers.
So there is a guy driving a robot around the college of engineering selling energy drinks
you cant just puke in an arbys and not order food. thatd be rude.
There's somethin not right about having to take the batteries out of your 27 year old boyfriends gameboy to use in your vibrator
I'm just planning on experiencing Disney as adult style as it gets. Drinking bloody mary's at dawn and telling all the kids waiting in lines how badly their future sucks and that Santa isn't real.
Just made a beer run. At 9am. In my pjs. I should not be graduating today
Is there a particular reason why everyone is now calling you Butt Doctor?
Someone explain why I'm twerking in my bathroom right now before a charity run
Dude your life.. At your sugar daddies house sending nudes to your fwb
Well shove his head down there and tell him not to stop til we have a new president!
Not sure if your roommate speaks German while sleeping, or if she woke up, figured out we were fucking, and used German to swear at us.
Woke up this morning to a bunch of snapchats of you drunkenly yelling at grasshoppers. Good night?
I'm killing it this week, I've peed my pants and put my vibrator into the washing machine.
Sooooooooooooo you woke up on a rooftop. Classy
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