Acid is not a monday night drug
you finished all 5 burgers, started crying tears of joy, and then claimed the tears were actually just 'meat sweats' from your eyes
tuesday night obama will do an address about the oil spill at 8... it'll only be about 15 minutes... but i think thats plenty of time for a drinking game. key words "oil" "bp" and "responsibility"?
Fuck yes. Let's make bingo cards.
I'm getting to the point of going up to a guy and saying "Hi I'm maggie and i can put my foot behind my head"... That desperate.
Handicvap rails on the toilet atre soooooo fuckin handy right nmow.
thats because you have standards... and i have a thing for guys that give me free drugs.
Other than my penis smelling like an ashtray, it went really well.
we just ate hash browns in a nativity scene with baby jesus
I didn't want to see any of his nipples and now I've seen all three. Thanks.
You're the second person to offer to fuck me in the bathroom at work. Idk whether I should feel honored, or if cvs is just a turn on.
Kinda hard to look your partner in the face the day after a rousing game of How Many Ways Can I Capture Your Penis.
woke up to my little sister's best-friend's boyfriend in my bed, but how's your saturday going?
Well, if it's rabies, your lips will swell just prior to the frothing. Get a lot of good pics!
Don’t say some truly stupid shit like that to me. In a kitchen. Where the knives are kept
I texted her that I burned my tongue drinking coffee so it hurt to talk or kiss... How many points do I get for doing her without talking or making out first?
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