i think guys can sense when i'm not wearing underwear
I convinced her last night that my actual nickname was "No Condom John"
Why is your vibrator in the fridge?
I'm testing sex in Alaska before I go there.
Have you been tested recently?
Well I got my shots when I was a baby so I think I'm immune
Remember when I booked a hotel room for next sat? Nneither do I.
the story is to long to tell you via txt so when you notice the tattoo on your ass call me.
I was stumbling so much, men walking behind us were shouting "don't hit the pole! don't hit the pole!" whenever I was near a telephone pole.
When and where the fuck did we get a beach ball??
I ran into his family and they made me a ham sandwich and I asked if they wanted to come streaking. I felt they deserved the invite.
I think this bruise on my arm is actually an impression of your face
Wow two curved penises in one weekend. I feel like this may be good luck. Like finding a four leaf clover
I AM A GOOD PERSON AND THEREFORE I DESERVE QUALITY DICK!
COCAINE AND SUSPENSFUL BBC SHOWS DO NOT WORK.
It's a shame, really, because he's got the cock of a horse... And the personality of dry toast.
He had a small dick and screamed "I will kill you if you don't get hard" to it in German...awkward time to have to explain I speak German too...
This is why you need to stop sleeping with freshmen.
Randomize
