i hooked up with some kid with a broken arm and he wouldnt even let me sign his cast
i don't even specifically remember last night, it's just one big wonderful lesbianic blur.
you were drinking a pitcher of what you called "16 loko" and making everybody guess what the secret ingredient was
Just finished off a roll of paper towels. Celebration blunt?
I don't understand but I'll be there in 5
Apparently i asked the cab driver how much the ride was going to cost, (he said about $25) then i offered him 50 to let me drive the cab...
She slapped me in the face with a McDouble. Just threw it right at my face while I was driving... That is why we can't bring her out in public.
If we accept the love we think we deserve do we also accept the sex we think we deserve?
Hypothetically how does one go about throwing away a dildo?
Literally just one second of unclenched butt hole away from shitting my pants.
The guy I brought home last night made a speedy escape while I was in the bathroom. The only trace I found of his flight was a lone sock on the stairs.... It was like a whorey low budget Cinderella
"what's it like being a dancer turned stoner" well, i can change the netflix using my feet mid bongrip, so there's that.
Wikipedia just saved you three hours and $30 on a bar tab. You should donate.
$5. Donated.
I asked him to help me break in the space ship aka my bed.
I love you man but my hope is that you will not wake me up again by pissing on me
because he's a firefighter, wouldn't sleeping with him be like saying thank you to the community?
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