so then you were screaming "GIVE ME KELVINS!" and heating things up in the microwave and no one knew what you wanted
I just woke up to me licking the dognuts
You mean Doughnuts?
......No :(
This guy just walked into class and first thing he did was grab the garbage can, walk to his desk and say "just in case"
when i got home i made myself toast with butter & put pasta on it. I know this cause it's all over my bed.
I just had sex on a bear rug. My life is complete.
Can't a girl send out a 4 pm booty call anymore
And as cleavage season comes to a close, so blooms a new season of yoga pants. And the people rejoiced.
I never want to do this again, I'm going to chew off several fingers and apply for disability
No gifts needed, but if you have fireworks or weed that'd be good.
I'm hungover laying in my moms bed watching Space Jam.. Adult Life..
I would bite a mans dick off for a chocolate milk.
Your cock has been in the back of my throat. Co-worker is no longer a sufficient title. Fix that shit ASAP
Your uterus is safe from my father's misconstrued prophecies.
How do I send someone an apology text for giving them a lap dance in the middle of a party last night?
I am watching Wayne Gretzky and Alexander oveckhin play video games for charity. What is life right now.
Randomize
