if it were possible I'd exchange my vagina for a diff one on the black market.
i've been called drunk 4 times today and it's only 3pm
this girl is having heart failure because she lost her feather...a gypsy blessed it in turkey. Not sure im high enough for this
No dude trust me, just go a strip club at their busiest hours and pick the ugliest chick. Guaranteed she blows you for under 20$, the record stands at $7.67 and a pen from Bank of America,
Just heard my neighbor say "I'm just gonna lay down in a coma until someone comes into my room and hands me a beer." He's got his priorities straight
I was just reelected president of justgotlaidsylvania
Why on earth is he slamming his body into the wall again?
there is a video of me on Facebook getting mad at a trash bin what the fuck was in your Pepsi
Yeah well you try taking nice pictures while you have pizza crust lodged in your throat
That was a very uncomfortable conversation to have without pants on. But his mom was pretty cool about it.
I still think it's strange your mom saw me 93% naked with a Santa hat on and a raging boner. Tis the season right?
Bumble is fuckin insane here. I'm going to break a hip.
Well I'm nervous now about the consequences of letting you loose
It's a big decision, I respect that you need to think about it.
I'm hungover from the 8pm vodka and still drunk from the 5am beer.
omg girl... i cut your hair last night. tell me it looks okay!? i saw hair on the counter and i said ohhh nooo
Randomize
